There are many reasons why my brother and I have encountered issues from his girlfriend is because he learned how to be selfish, controlling, careless, and somewhat thoughtless. It was absolutely disgusting because my parents never raised us to be this kind of person and it is in fact annoying me at this moment writing and talking about it. I have never felt so angry and hurt at the same time.
Here are the examples:
I could buy a case of gatorade and share with the entire household without any complains.
My brother buys a case of gatorade and lightly shares, the bottles I drink should sometime be replaced.
I have a car and I could take anyone around without charging for gas or other expense.
They have a car and charged me gas weekly and require service for the car.
They're aware of our mothers illness but never seemed to check up on her
I stress over the health of my mother and worry about what will be the outcome.
They expect so much help when it comes to family events such as parties.
They won't provide anything when it will come to your turn.
These examples are just small ones, but you get the picture of how someone could irritate you with all their expectations and never really care about you. I've always understood how people are, but enough is enough. I couldn't take it anymore and couldn't stand anyone who is selfish. It is like an automatic response for me to despise someone who share that quality of that deviant personality. I never really claim or expect anything in return at all, it is just so exhausting when people say "When it was me" or "How about the time you..." or "I did this and now you have to..." and not realize what others have done for them. I do not know why they're inconsiderate and yet to turn things around that I am the bad guy.
Everyone who knew my brother said that he changed and she was the cause of this. The couple have been together for more than 10 years since high school or something. I understand completely about their relationship and how they've become as one, but seriously like that? I lived with my brother for exactly a year and seven months and to even think of the damages that were made. Regardless of the situation, They brought joy to my life with two special boys that I care for greatly. My nephews who I love dearly would not be seen again until time flies by and we both become more comfortable. I miss them greatly but I feel like the animosity I have against my brother will not let me see them and I understood it with myself that it was wrong and I couldn't do it.
Tuesday, June 17, 2014
The Unwanted...
My story...
I am from the Commonwealth of the Northern Marianas Islands. Most people are unfamiliar from where I am from and thats the sad part, regardless that the territory played a significant role during the World War II, it is still the mystery throughout the United States. This US territory consist of 14 beautiful islands and I am glad to be raised in two different islands. In addition, Guam used to be a part of this territory and became a part of US before the rest of the islands while we were under the control of the Japanese administration. Until this day, the difference is only the government among the 15 islands. Guam being federalize while the rest are self-governed, similar to Puerto Rico.
Moving on, I was born at the stroke of midnight on October 16, 1987 in the island of Saipan, the capital of the Northern Marianas Islands. Although I was told by my mother that I was actually born around 10 p.m. which the nurse asked if she would like to record my information on what was stated on my actual birth certificate today. In addition, she mentioned that the nurse was actually someone who is feminine similar to a Palao'ana (Third Gender). And months before that, my ultrasound stated that I was a girl, which the doctor informed my mother. My mothers reaction was never been happy since her eldest was a boy named Sandy. He was named after my grandfather while my name is Eulogio Camacho King Jr, named after my father, even though I looked exactly like my mother.
Unfortunately, something grew and is sometimes a disappointment to me when my mother gave birth to me. Everyone in my entire family was really expecting a girl. My chosen Godmother was even ready to baptize me as soon as I entered this world. She was too excited to the point that she bought my baptismal dress that turned out to be a Gold dress. Those dresses are made for both sexes although they only have a slight difference that could tell which ones are actually made for girls or boys. They're called Bata in my language.
As the years have gone by, my memories are poor about my childhood and I never actually realized it until now. I seem to get pieces of memories like a puzzle slowly putting themselves together as I spend more time with family while talking about the past. This was definitely an issue for me not remembering the most of my past. Although the most ridiculous moments that I remember are the fights I had with my brother Sandy.
In my culture, you must respect any elders above your age, regardless if they're cousins, nieces, nephews, and etc. Luckily, my mother was lenient enough and adapted to the generation at the time. It made me comfortable to talk back and make Sandy realize that he was wrong. The outcome has never changed we end up in all kinds of fights and I end up crying all the time. The incidents were absolutely funny and how ridiculous we were. We couldn't remember what we were fighting for. It always starts off from arguments then escalating into a physical fights.
One particular incident was when we both fought over snacks and claiming who owns it, it started out from strong statements to raising voices to teasing each other until everything is at the boiling point of the thermometer as if it was going to crack. although everything shattered and we both start pushing, punching, choking, kicking, and other crazy things until we either one of us know when it is enough. The consequence were from my parents, they never cared about who started the fight and always punishes us with thick belts whipping towards the glueteus. We didn't dare to move or run, because it will only make things worst.
Another incident was playing sports, we decided to play touch-back football or something like that. The game included our two younger siblings Patrick and Vincent at the time. I was partnered with Vincent (VJ) and the other two were our opponents, we played throughout the afternoon after school and enjoyed it so much that it became too serious. We were both complaining about who are the winners of this game and eventually everyone was being stubborn about who won.
During the argument, my brother was pointing out that we were wrong and they've won. I put my foot down and immediately tried to discuss the game with him, but I was completely firm and argumentative. As a result, my brother continues to warn me about hurting me while I ignored it and continued to attack him with the most irritating and annoying words. Eventually, I stepped away from him because I knew that he couldn't catch me and that he would obviously hurt me in any way possible. Instead that didn't help, he picked up a coconut from the ground and threw it directly to the side of my thigh. I never hesitated to cry hysterically and waited for my parents to come home from work, so I could tell them what had happened.
Moments later, I stopped crying by the corner of the main entrance of the door, because it was only 3:00 p.m. and my parents wouldn't be home until 4:45. I couldn't cry that long and it was stupidly funny for what I was trying to do. The coconut didn't hurt me at all because the insides were empty and it was light. In the end, we tend to get a long great and make up after many tiny arguments or fights.
As we aged, we become sophisticated whenever we encounter the beginning of the argument and prevent it from escalating, The thing is that the arguments now have nothing to do about who is starting it, but who are causing it. My malicious feeling is that his girlfriend Jocelyn was always opening the door for problems to arise. It built many mixed emotions within myself and so many reasons to hold back. These boxed up emotions are becoming so full that it'll literally explode at any ticking time. It was then I became aware that I do not want to cause any issue, so it is best for me to move out and eradicate the relationship I have with my brother.
As the years have gone by, my memories are poor about my childhood and I never actually realized it until now. I seem to get pieces of memories like a puzzle slowly putting themselves together as I spend more time with family while talking about the past. This was definitely an issue for me not remembering the most of my past. Although the most ridiculous moments that I remember are the fights I had with my brother Sandy.
In my culture, you must respect any elders above your age, regardless if they're cousins, nieces, nephews, and etc. Luckily, my mother was lenient enough and adapted to the generation at the time. It made me comfortable to talk back and make Sandy realize that he was wrong. The outcome has never changed we end up in all kinds of fights and I end up crying all the time. The incidents were absolutely funny and how ridiculous we were. We couldn't remember what we were fighting for. It always starts off from arguments then escalating into a physical fights.
One particular incident was when we both fought over snacks and claiming who owns it, it started out from strong statements to raising voices to teasing each other until everything is at the boiling point of the thermometer as if it was going to crack. although everything shattered and we both start pushing, punching, choking, kicking, and other crazy things until we either one of us know when it is enough. The consequence were from my parents, they never cared about who started the fight and always punishes us with thick belts whipping towards the glueteus. We didn't dare to move or run, because it will only make things worst.
Another incident was playing sports, we decided to play touch-back football or something like that. The game included our two younger siblings Patrick and Vincent at the time. I was partnered with Vincent (VJ) and the other two were our opponents, we played throughout the afternoon after school and enjoyed it so much that it became too serious. We were both complaining about who are the winners of this game and eventually everyone was being stubborn about who won.
During the argument, my brother was pointing out that we were wrong and they've won. I put my foot down and immediately tried to discuss the game with him, but I was completely firm and argumentative. As a result, my brother continues to warn me about hurting me while I ignored it and continued to attack him with the most irritating and annoying words. Eventually, I stepped away from him because I knew that he couldn't catch me and that he would obviously hurt me in any way possible. Instead that didn't help, he picked up a coconut from the ground and threw it directly to the side of my thigh. I never hesitated to cry hysterically and waited for my parents to come home from work, so I could tell them what had happened.
Moments later, I stopped crying by the corner of the main entrance of the door, because it was only 3:00 p.m. and my parents wouldn't be home until 4:45. I couldn't cry that long and it was stupidly funny for what I was trying to do. The coconut didn't hurt me at all because the insides were empty and it was light. In the end, we tend to get a long great and make up after many tiny arguments or fights.
As we aged, we become sophisticated whenever we encounter the beginning of the argument and prevent it from escalating, The thing is that the arguments now have nothing to do about who is starting it, but who are causing it. My malicious feeling is that his girlfriend Jocelyn was always opening the door for problems to arise. It built many mixed emotions within myself and so many reasons to hold back. These boxed up emotions are becoming so full that it'll literally explode at any ticking time. It was then I became aware that I do not want to cause any issue, so it is best for me to move out and eradicate the relationship I have with my brother.
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